What’s one of the most cutting things anyone has ever said to you?
You know, the phrase or statement someone in the past said to you that you replay over and over in your mind, or maybe it’s a phrase you hear regularly like “You’re useless” or “You’re stupid”, “You’re ________” , or “I don’t love you anymore” , or “Why can’t you be like ________?” that cut you deeply and it’s impacted the way you behave ever since?
We all have them.
What’s yours?
Words impact us so deeply – we carry the bad ones around us like heavy baggage, or we’re ripped open to the core, yet, the good ones have the amazing ability to elevate and lift us into the clouds with renewed hope and vitality.
Years ago, my mentor challenged me that I needed to let go of the massive hurt from my childhood because it was the root of some bad behaviour towards others including my wife, who consequently asked for a divorce in 1992……
He challenged me with the principle of Edification – you can promote anyone but yourself.
He challenged me to forgive and to focus all my energy on building up and promoting others around me, not myself. This was hard at first as I was nursing some big hurt. I always wanted to cut others down to make myself look better (which it actually didn’t, not surprisingly) and give myself the limelight as a result of what had happened in my past.
However, I followed my mentor’s advice. It saved my marriage (we’re still together after 33 years) and turned my family life around. I’m forever grateful to my mentor for this.
I then took the Edification principle into business and witnessed the amazing transformations of my people and those of my clients, which then lead to some pretty incredible performances and bottom line results.
Your words as a boss, a partner, a parent, a sibling, a friend, a colleague, a client, a customer, all have an impact on those you come into contact every day, for better or for worse.
Maybe you’re like me and have been hurt in the past or you’re hurting now, and you’re angry or low and you don’t think you have the capacity to edify anyone or, you haven’t realised the power of edifying people – maybe no one has ever really edified you?
Whatever your story is, can I challenge you to think deeply about it because your life and the lives of those around you can be significantly lifted by Edification and from what I’ve witnessed, both personally and professionally so far, it can lead to possibilities that you can’t even yet imagine.
Edification – you can promote anyone but yourself – truly is a life changer.
It will change your life and it will change the lives of those around you.
As former US President, Theodore Roosevelt so insightfully said many years ago,
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
How are you edifying the key people in your life right now?
Watch how they light up when you do.
⚡️I recently did a TEDx talk on this topic, where I go into much greater detail how to apply Edification to your personal and business lives. If you’d like to check it out, click here.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I truly hope this helps you build your leadership strength to live a better life.
Keep climbing!
Peter (Coxey)
